like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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