Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
