oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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