I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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