so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
