if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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