Say something about gay babies.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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