The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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