I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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