was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Enjoy the penises
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
