Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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