Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize