I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
