No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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