Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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