i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
