Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
