I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
