So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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