I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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