Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
