piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
