return my video game
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize