I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
