so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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