we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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