Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize