u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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