dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
