her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
