I don't usually arrange sex via text message
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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