Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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