I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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