Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize