she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
she looked like the before picture.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
