god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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