So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
