then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
