We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
