You can't motorboat a personality
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
