i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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