either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
