just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
