That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
