He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
