barbara walters just said penis...
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
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