Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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