I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
