So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
