So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
