I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
