his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
