Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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