I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Randomize
