so that wasnt chicken after all
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
