Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize