so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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