im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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