As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
