shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
