just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
