how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
