yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
